Just to add a little to what Lachlan said: A DoF calculator (and the usual formulae) gives the distance from the lens (specifically the front or first nodal point as Lachlan says) to the subject. If you are using a lens that has a focusing mount it is likely that the distances on the mount will refer to the film plane - subject distance, which is unambiguous because the film plane is usually clearly marked (most movie cameras even have a tape attachment point there to help with measurements). Maybe this is the reason for the different stories you are hearing.
Best,
Helen
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