I'm at this crossroad again that most of my passed & present work is really bad and fit for the garbage. This negative self-evaluation happened times before, bu t non as bad as this time. After giving so much, I'm thinking how little I've ac hieved (only a few photographs over eight years of serious work). When I think of Atget's photographs, they seemed so easy and effectlessly made. Looks like he is able to walk about, sees an ordinary thing, and place his camer a without being precisely concerned. He'll do that all over again and win. In hi s work I see dark corners (that I avoid at all cost or I'll be accused of copyin g), ordinary print standards (that I struggle to excel), and charm (that I don't see in my own photographs). What is it that he can see & do so 'freely' that I cannot? Is it a talent that c annot be trained? Is it compassion that one either has it or don't? Is it luck t hat he has more subjects to work on during his time? Is it 'perk-up' ideals that made me (and others) to believe he's so good? What is it?? Do I give up photogr aphy for good???
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