"Okay. So you're shooting ruins in the Greek Islands with your bulletproof old Linhof Technika, when the triple extension English Leather bellows starts doing its legendary Dance of the Seven Veils, with too many holes and creases to possibly tape over. "

The answer to this part is simple. Those holds and folds didn't develop overnight. The bellows should have been replaced a decade ago.

As to theft here is my experience

We are driving to my wife's faather's hometown, Nancy France. We stop in Strasburg and park under the townhall in the main city garage. We go to call our kids in school in Atlanta. We are gone exactly 20 minutes. When we return to the car we found the doors and trunk open. All of my wife's clothes scattered under the car. My Rimowa aluminum suitcase with all my clothes is missing as are two Rimowa aluminum camera cases containing: two Rollei 6006 MKII cameras, prisms and all lenses from 40 to 300mm. three Rollei SL35E cameras and two SL3000 cameras with lenses from 16 to 200mm as well as backs. A Linhof Technorama 612 with two lenses. All of the exposed and unexposed film shot over two weeks in Austria and Germany. Passport, tickets and assorted other items including the keys to the car we parked at JFK and the house keys..

We still had a week to go on the trip. The remaining shots were with a Rollei 35 and a SL3000 I carried with me to the phone call. The suitcase was replaced by a cardboard box and a department store in Freiburg Germany managed to fit and tailor some pants overnight.

The police in Strasbourg were of no help. the City Hall said it was the police who would not patrol the parking garage, the Garage wanted cash payment for the overtime caused by having to find the responsible police station. Lufthansa replaced the tickets at NC as long as I agreed to pay for them if the original one was used within one year and the State Department replaced the Passport and had a new one waiting in Munich. They said not to worry about someone using the Passport again (this was well before 9/11). My insurance took over a year to pay the full replacement policy coverage and then only after threatening a lawsuit.