Ah, then you should forget all the diffusion filters and cheap substitutes, and concentrate on lenses with spherical aberration designed in, 'cause that's how the classic soft lenses were made to work! (Mind you, there's always been some optical pervert who does things wrong... Forman Hanna was a pictorialist form the 1920's-40's who used his Pinkham and Smith closed down to get a sharp negative, then printed through cheesecloth to fuzz it up. )
Mind you, different soft focus designs had different effects, even if most used the same aberration to achieve it. SA spreads in different ways and to different degrees, so some of us have a variety to explore and choose from.
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