Henry,
You are completely right when you write "If you use a certain instrument long enough it does, indeed, become an extension of your own personality and, thus, becomes a long and valued friend... one who you feel comfortable with.
You point out several topics about choosing a camera. First, it must of course be used for a long time. All camera controls must become an extension of your hands, your fingers, and, most of all of your eyes, your brain and your sensibility.
About "feeling comfortable", the weight is an almost important data : carrying 20 to 25 kg of photographic equipment is sometimes exhausting, and when you are to take a photo, your mind is disturbed by tiredness.

Perharps am I mistaken, but I think that one cannot love a digital camera, full of electronics, as one can love a view or field camera.
There is something "alleviating" in using a view camera, a kind of ceremony when installing it on the tripod, composing the image. As if using a view camera caused to slow down the time... That's how I feel it.
That resembles painting : installing a field easel and a linen canvas in front of a landscape is comparable to setting a tripod and a camera. Contemplation is the same.