I was tired all day yesterday because I had stayed up past midnight to make a pr int. And then had to get up at 4:23 AM to get to work. I wanted to see for my self that my vision was indeed intact. It is. Worth it? You bet.

For me the biggest problem in my creative adventure isn't magic bullets (althoug h I do have a philosophy that seems to be working) but time. I started out on t his journey knowing that I would fill a dumpster with bad prints before I ever m ade a good one. It has proven true.

My problem: I'm teetering on the commitment ledge that falls off into the black unknown. Lately I've been adding up how much time I can devote to this creativ e effort and stay in balance with a family that has constant needs and demands, my wife who I promised long ago to hold in priority, a job that pays a fair $ an d expects a fair return on the investment, friendships with demands, faith with demands and on and on, ad-infinitum ad-nausium. When I get to the end of that e quation I'm down to minutes........that's right minutes per year that I can use to express my creativity and make real advances towards excellence. It is frust rating. Maddening! Meanwhile the dumpster sits there waiting!

Do the guys I read about in magazines with the fabulous work and dream darkrooms have wives and broken down cars and houses with pealing paint, or has their com mitment to the craft made them walk away from all that to pursue the goal. I'm painfully aware that Weston abandoned his family to go to Mexico. I'm not willi ng to do that so I ultimately may be just one of the very many who doesn't get t o the magazine pages.

Just venting a bit. It's nice when you know you're not the only wacko in the wo rld and this forum goes a long way, for me at least, by giving me a peek into wh at others are experiencing. In Central Nevada I truly am the only wacko. Anybo dy got a late 150mm Xenotar?