Lots of good posts re: the camera and lens decision. I agree on leaving the more esoteric accessories to her, but since you're new to view cameras, here is a short list of the things that you need to make one of these work:
The Camera The Lens A Lensboard A Tripod (with head) Film Holders Film
There are a ton of other things that are helpful (almost necessary), but you can take a photo with these things alone, and you cannot without all of them (except arugably the tripod).
If you buy a kit, there's a good chance you'll get everything but the film and the tripod, but if you buy separately, and want to get her a "complete" photo making machine, make sure you have each of these.
As for stores, I've been extremely happy with Midwest Photo Exchange (mentioned earlier). Their staff is super helpful and guided me to several of my first purchases. Their used selection is pretty extensive too.
For new stuff (film especially), I really like B&H, very professional and good prices. It's a much bigger operation than Midwest though, and you might not get the same personal attention. B&H does have a used department that is pretty good also.
I'm sure there are a bunch of other great stores that deal over telephone/internet, but my experiences have been mostly with B&H and Midwest. KEH is good too, but I've only dealt with their 35mm and medium format gear, so don't know too much about their large format.
Now, for accessories that are not absolutely necessary, but pretty much everyone uses:
Darkcloth Focusing Loupe Meter Polaroid Back
The Darkcloth is the subject of great debate, but can be improvised until she figures out what she wants. The Focusing Loupes can be very expensive, but you can at least start with a simple <$10 one that Ritz camera carries for looking at 35mm negatives on the light table. The meter is going to be something she should probably pick out herself based on what she's doing with the camera.
Finally, the Polaroid back. While arguably the least necessary of the previously mentioned items, from a gift excitement point of view, could be pretty cool. With the Polaroid back, she could pull the camera out of the wrapping, go outside and make a photo immediately. I'd bet that almost all of us shooting 4x5 have the 545 or 545i holder in our bags, and she'd probably want to get one pretty shortly after getting the camera anyway. They make a number of different films for this holder (color print, black and white print, positive negative [my personal fav.]).
Without the polaroid, she'd have to load film holders and process film before getting a result, i.e. it could be some time before she's able to "use" the camera.
Again, it depends on your budget, etc. The Polaroid holder runs about $100 used and a box of film runs about $50-$60 I think.
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