There are heuristics to photography expressed in one
liners or even acronyms such as KISS, but how many of
them are rhymes or poems to guide the intrepid shooter?

Does anyone have a favorite poem, rhyme or limerick
that applies to LF photography? Got one that captures the
frustration, reminds one of settings or just passes the time while
waiting for the light or processing some film? Or one that
puts the gotchas together?

To start - I'll take a shot at it, however I'm no poet - so if
you've got something better, step up and show it!

[pre]
There was a young lad,
who ended up really quite sad,
when he pulled the dark slide,
with his lens opened wide,
he wrecked all the film that he had.

On the very next day,
Tad struck out to shoot the wonder,
but instead of delight,
he got a big fright,
as the wind knocked his tripod asunder.

The light was not bad,
so the film speed just matched the weather,
yet the meter was set,
to never forget,
the last scene that it averag'd together.

'Twas a nerd who did figure
that he'd put the whole scene in a bottle
so he pulled minus 2,
and when he got through,
he new it all blew,
'cause his skies they really did mottle!
[/pre]

At times, things get challenging for photographers seeking
to improve their lot. Some great poets wrote their verse
that applied so well to treading the road - such as
Kipling with his famous "If". How it seems to apply to
the LF photographer waiting for the light, showing
new work, or dealing with the ups and downs -

[pre]
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
[/pre]