Horrible photographs and self-esteem

[Darin Cozine]

In my opinion the photographs I have taken are absolutely horrible.
I dont know if I am suffering from low photographers self-esteem or maybee im just being too self-critical. But when I look at my prints, they seem muddy, grainy, and poorly composed.

I moved from 35mm to 4x5 mainly because I was unhappy with the grainy prints I was getting. I am not a shapness snob, because I admire the prints for the image they create and not for loupe-sized details. A friend of mine just came back from Tahoe with some prints she took of an engaged couple. They were taken on consumer-grade Kodak B&W film (process c-41) . I was very impressed with the detail and smooth texture. I know that c-41 bw films use dyes instead of fat silver crystals, so they are inherently less grainy. But I have 4x5 negs that I are not as nice as these enlarged prints from a 35m.

Anyway, it depressed me quite a bit.

> So I have hope that I am missing something. The alternative is that I am just a lousy photographer and should put away my equipment. I was wondering if anyone else has worked though similar stages in their photography? <

It may be that I just need to get some professional instruction. Perhaps there is only so much one can learn from books and websites.

[John D Gerndt]

Dang, don't take it so hard, something is going wrong but I am sure you can fix it. You will need someone who does their own (good) B&W work to walk through the entire process with you and discover what IS going wrong. Then you can concentrate on making the photograph and not making the photographic equipment do the right things.

Cheers,

[Bosaiya]

Chances are you just need to slow down and concentrate on one thing at a time. Figure out what the problem is, what you want to "solve", and what could be causing that. Eliminate the variables one by one until you figure it out. Get back to basics. Re-read your books and websites, but focus on one area at a time, otherwise you'll just get more and more frustrated.

[Eric Biggerstaff]

Well, don't get so down on yourself!

Stay focused on why you enjoy photography in the first place and not so much on the quality of your work. It takes a long time to develop a body of work that is your own and that you are proud of, so don't hurry. Take workshops if you can, they are generally helpful and there are many. Contact photographers whose work you admire and ask for advice. Look at images, buy images and keep photographing.

If you love what you are doing, then the images will come. We all go through this, this is common. Remember, the greats make thousands of perfectly boring images to get the few really good ones, so keep that in mind. Also, remember there is a lot of really BAD work out there, so take your time, photograph what you love and the art will come.

Have a great weekend,

www.ericbiggerstaff.com

[John Flavell]

I'll agree with Bosaiya. One disaster at a time. We've all been through this and there are times when things like this still happen. We just don't tell anyone. Keep your high standards as goals, then eliminate these problems one by one. You'll get through it just fine.

[Mark Sampson]

It's very easy to look at your own work and see only the flaws. We all do that some of the time. But just because you see things that could be improved doesn't mean that your photographs are "horrible". Always wanting to do better is a good sign...

[John Cook]

I suspect that each of us has areas of greater and lesser confidence.

Coming from a career in classical commercial work, I am pretty confident in my technical abilities with non-digital photography. Don’t know diddly about the new stuff, nice as it surely is.

But with a history of always being told what to do by the client, I am now at something of a major quandary as a retiree who can photograph anything, anywhere, anyhow, any time. For the first time I'm stumped.

Too bad we don’t live closer.

But seriously, I have recently noticed that all online photography forums seem to concentrate almost exclusively on equipment, materials and chemicals.

Very little time spent on technique. Like how to light a fat lady’s portrait. Or how to render autumn foliage in black & white.

As our stock in trade is capturing light, one might think we would spend a lot of time discussing how to modify or create it. How come half of all photo store shelves aren’t stocked with lighting equipment?

I suppose the forum content has to do with the inability to easily share images, graphs and diagrams. Very difficult to make visual points in prose alone. Sort of like writing a thousand word essay on a simple thing like how to tie your shoelaces.

Yet, perhaps we could all try to restrain ourselves on which focal length or developer dilution might be trendy, and talk more about techniques out in front of the camera.

At least for a little while...

[jose angel]

I have feel the same as you a lot of times. My last print was made past monday, "-my best print ever..." I thought. On tuesday, my thought was "-what an enormous piece of sh**t... ". After some work on it, the result is pleasant to me. Sometimes I don´t know what I´m looking for.

Each learning event counts. You have recognized a deficiency. You are distinguishing what you like and what dislikes. In my opinion "... more than yesterday, less than tomorrow... " always counts. Take your time.

Look for the excelence in your work. This is what I try to do. If something is not to my liking, I meticulously analyze each step of the process. Usually I need to read a lot, I try to visit exhibitions to see what others do, ask for advice, etc. Sometimes I need to buy something to fix the deficiency. Needless to say that this forum is my first source of knowledge.

I know my method is different than others; nowadays I feel that my "technical level" is over my own minimum standards, I´m on my first attempts to express something. I must say that my very first camera was bought in the 80´s.

[darr]

Calm down and try not to get too frustrated with yourself. We have all been there if we love shooting our large formats today!

A quick question to think about first: were you happy with the quality of your 35mm images besides the grain issue? If so, are you saying what made you unhappy with the 35mm alone was the film format size? Were you using high speed film with your 35mm thus causing the grain or could it be that maybe the exposures were off and the printing process printed your negs out for you?

I ask this because no matter what format I shoot, (I shoot 35mm, 120, and 4x5”) I am usually content with my work:

http://cameraartist.com/

My advice is to run through a bunch of Polaroid 55 to see immediately what you are doing and how it is affecting the results. Shoot a frame according to what you think it should be, look at the results then adjust the focus, exposure, aperture etc. and shoot the same thing again and again but make adjustments each time. Look at the results individually, and record what the adjustments are and what changes resulted. This is what school is all about. Do not go into this assuming you’ll be making wonderful shots immediately. Shooting large format well is a developed art and it can be expensive to learn, but so is school. Taking classes with photographer’s whose work you admire is always beneficial.

The important thing to keep in mind is that anyone that shoots large format well had to work through the learning curve. Shoot and re-shoot until you become comfortable with the whole process and only then should you judge yourself harshly.

It truly is the journey that matters,

[paulr]

I think periods of hating your work are just part of the growth process.

Looking back I see times when my artistic abilities were better developed than my critical ones ... these are the times when I had a big ego and thought I was the Man. Other times things were reversed and my critical abilities outpaced the artistic ones. These are the times I was sure I sucked.

Both kinds of periods were helpful in their own way. Without the times of Big Ego, I might have gotten discouraged, and might not have done some audacious things like showing work to lots of bigshots. But without the self-critical periods, I would never have suffered enough to learn everything I learned.

Both of these mindsets are basically delusions. The important thing is being able to use them to fuel your work and the improvement of your work. If you find yourself getting numb or depressed or unmotivated to work because of it, then it's a problem. I recommend checking out Julia Camerron's The Artists's Way if you ever feel blocked by unhelpful self-criticism.