Diffraction is one of those monsters that parents use to frighten their kids, like the headless horseman.
In any normal image diffraction effects are slight, though measurable, and indistinguishable from poor focus.
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To answer the OP...
Most of my lenses are f/5.6, and I typically shoot them at f/16 or f/22.
If the manufacturer states an optimum aperture, I use that value when possible, or adjacent settings.
I would not hesitate to go smaller if dictated by image considerations.
I shoot wide open if that setting produces the desired effect in the image.
- Leigh
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