That's close enough. Nonetheless, you might try developing a smidge more. I just read your last point. If the tone looks dark on a print, then you need to develop a bit more.
“You often feel tired, not because you've done too much, but because you've done too little of what sparks a light in you.”
― Alexander Den Heijer, Nothing You Don't Already Know
Thanks everyone for your input, everything is working to my satisfaction now.
Ian
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