I've come to realize that I'm spinning my wheels for the most part. I love shooting film, I love large format. I love digital and its capabilities. Heck I kinda have a "love affair" with it all. The gear(not as much as before, I now just see them as tools), but photography in general, TO ME, is somewhat dead now.... I still get out to expose a roll or two of 120 a week, sometimes not even that much... I've found that picking up a camera(even my little Nikon digital slr) simply isn't ENJOYABLE anymore...
Having just moved into my first(on my own) place, I've got the drum scanner up and running, and it's been liberating to be able to go through and scan old shots I've made, but at the same time I've found my self staring at the screen saying "WHY am I here? WHAT am I wasting my time on this for? I'm never going to print this, much less show it to anyone, WHAT (IS) THE POINT???"
That's the part I'm sick of. Being sick of looking at the past, old negatives/chromes, whatever...
I've decided to put 90% of it all to a viking-style funeral, burn em all! Well, I'm saving the family/friends shots, some other chosen frames, and my Iceland negatives, but the rest will be crispy this week.
I've always found that performing IRREVERSIBLE actions in times like these is the best way to put my energy into what AHEAD of me, rather than the past.
Don't get hopeful thinking that I'm going to liquidate all of my gear and film stash, NOOOO
. I'm just forcing myself to focus on the future, rather than being burdened by the past.
Sorry if this seems like a weird post, but this is a community that I've come to enjoy the company of the past few years, and I'll stick around. But certainly not as much as before. Time to make NEW and BETTER photographs. Onward and upward!
all the best,
Dan
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