How to solve bickering

[Jody_S]

As for a means to stop the bickering, eliminate the Lounge. It serves no purpose for large format photography and nearly always ends in headaches.

The Lounge, or it's equivalent, serves and important purpose in online message boards. It fosters a sense of community, friendship, as an area where posters can express their personalities and talk about other interests, as they might with friends. And through this interaction, people do indeed become friends. The problems arise on mature boards where friends have formed cliques or groups, and develop rivalries with other groups; plus there are antisocial or negative persons who will put down others and of course feel more free to do so in the more informal setting of The Lounge. But I don't think the solution is eliminating The Lounge, because that sense of community and friendship is what keeps many posters coming back long after they've answered whatever technical question brought them to a place like LFPF.

As for using real names: I personally choose not to do so, not because I want anonymity from other photography forum members, but because I don't want my crazy-ass fundamentalist cult-member family to be able to track me down online. As it is, a google search of my real name turns up nothing after 1995 or so, and I would like to keep it that way. They have already found photos of me that friends posted to their private Facebook accounts, so I know they're looking. For those who would say "So what?", all I have to say is this: you really don't know just how crazy they can be.

[Brian C. Miller]

There is never any true solution to stopping bickering. Seriously, if there was a way to do it, doesn't anybody think that a major religion would have solved the problem already? If people want to bait, bicker, and whatever, then they'll just go and do it. Would real names solve anything? Would real names and home phone numbers solve anything? Would real names, home phone numbers, and home addresses solve anything? (And how would you verify real names? Notarized copies of a person's driving license?) How about a cage match? "And in this corner with a pyro tweak is ----, and in this corner with a different pyro tweak is ----!"

"She's screaming words of wisdom,
Get a life.
Yes, there will be an answer,
Get a life."
And "Get a life" can be sung to the William Tell Oveture, too.
Life. Available now in six packs. Get yours today!

[Bernice Loui]

It may come down to fundamental differences between men -vs- women. There was a study done some time ago regarding how gender specific groups solve problems.

Given the same problem:

The group of men would "size each other up" and out of this could come battles over who would become the alpha male who then dictated how the problem would be solved and that solution would be it.

The group of women would spend time getting to know each other, then figure out who is best at doing any specific aspect of solving the problem. Once their individual strengths are known among the group the group as a whole would work together to arrive at the solution.

This said, the bickering could be more fundamental an basic to human nature... While the alpha male culture may be useful in hunter/gatherer societies and tribes, it may not be ideal once humanity has moved on from that and becomes "civilized".

Don't take this as criticism, this is a bit of scientific study on humanity, culture and society. It is part of the human condition.

In the larger picture, LFF is a good place to be. Even with the few who have their own self centered agenda.


From another female LF photographer..

Bernice

+1.

I'm not in general an 'eye roller', but I can get sad/aggravated at the gender bias here. There may be as many women as men interested in LF these days. LF is for the patient, and if I can be excused my own gender bias, ...

That said, blessings on all the great guys here who don't have a misogynous bone in their bodies, and +infinity for all attempts to keep this a civil place, rich in real photography -- both the art and the science.

a female LF photographer

[BrianShaw]

The group of women would spend time getting to know each other, then figure out who is best at doing any specific aspect of solving the problem. Once their individual strengths are known among the group the group as a whole would work together to arrive at the solution.

... or as some women who don't wear rose-colored glasses might add: then we would lie to each other to make them think whatever we want them to think, or start talking unrelated smack to confuse the situation so nobody know or cares what is really going on, or gossip behind their back to make them look bad and the the 'truth" will prevail.

Even with a citation, I suspect the conclusion presented in the prior post is idealistic to say the least. I surely couldn't validate that with my real-life experience.

[BrianShaw]

p.s The best way to stop the bickering is for one of the parties to stop talking. That takes courage and a willingness to let go with the knowledge that the other parties mouth/ego will eventually make them look like a complete @ss.

[rdenney]

p.s The best way to stop the bickering is for one of the parties to stop talking.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Rick "you get the prize" Denney

[Preston]

p.s The best way to stop the bickering is for one of the parties to stop talking.

This gets my vote. It's sort of like when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

I come here a lot. I like this place. I have learned a great deal, and believe I've been helpful along the way. It's been my observation that all the elements required for a fire may be present, but if there is no ignition...there's no fire.

Have great Friday, everyone!

--P

[E. von Hoegh]

Talking? Who's talking? I thought we were typing...

[ROL]

p.s The best way to stop the bickering is for one of the parties to stop talking. That takes courage and a willingness to let go with the knowledge that the other parties mouth/ego will eventually make them look like a complete @ss.

Why I bail early from nearly every thread I participate in (and have closed my PM's). Thusly, I can't say I have any evidence of your conclusion.

[Bernice Loui]

Buddha, "Violence always leads to more violence."

"Violence begets violence", Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and others..


Bernice