View Full Version : A collection of howlers (to mark the turning point) !

Paul Schilliger
7-Jun-2002, 12:22
While browsing the archives, I came across something that gave me the idea of st arting a thread on howlers. If you know anything related to photography or this forum that could fit in this thread, please join in, it should be fun! Of course we should keep in mind that we all make such mistakes from time to time (me the first due to my approximate english!)

What I saw is in the review on the Docter lenses. Having read the name Apo Germi nar, Nelson asks very innocently if he could be sent a sequence of pictures from the seed to the plant for a scholar work.


chris jordan
7-Jun-2002, 14:20
years ago i was in a camera store and a guy brought in a roll of 35mm kodachrome for processing. as he set the roll on the counter, he accidentally knocked it onto the floor. the store manager said "that's too bad-- you just knocked all your pictures out of focus." the guy looked crestfallen and said "oh man, that was my whole vacation, too." the manager said "don't worry, i think we can fix it." then, as the guy walked out, i caught the grinning manager's eye and he said "don't worry, i won't charge him extra..."


Steve Feldman
7-Jun-2002, 15:31


Steve Feldman
7-Jun-2002, 16:10
OK - Here's one.

Whilst in the wilds of the Northern Oregon coast I spotted a bridge that looked like it needed it's picture taken. So, naturally, I obliged. I started setting up my 4x5 Crown Graphic when a young couple approached me, obviously thinking that I knew my way around cameras (ha,ha). They asked me to take their picture with their Japanese made, multi-programmed everything auto mega schmaltz with a pop up flash the size of a dime and a coffee maker plug on the side. I really don't know how to use these things. I'm kind of an auto nothing kind of a guy. Looking over the controls of this glass faced anvil I asked where the "PHD" was to operate it. With a look on their faces of a armadillo caught in the headlights, they asked what that meant. And I said,

Get ready.

Wait for it . . . .

"Push Here Dummy"

Well, I thought it was funny (at the time).


7-Jun-2002, 18:05
I don't call those howlers. I call them growners.

Robert A. Zeichner
7-Jun-2002, 18:30
An old friend who used to work behind the counter of a local camera shop related the following to me. "A fellow came in one day wanting to which flashbulbs, clear or blue, would be more appropriate for nightime photography with daylight film through the window of an airplane"

Andre Noble
7-Jun-2002, 19:23
A lady came onto a photo supply store where a friend of mine worked and bought a box of black and white paper. She returned to the store soon thereafter with the box opened to complain that "All the pictures are blank"

Gary Meader
7-Jun-2002, 21:05
While photographing outside Las Vegas a while back, there sat a German tourist and his girlfriend behind me on this huge boulder. I was working with them at my back, and out in the desert I was about all there was for them to look at. I could hear him from time to time dropping big photographic words at her, no doubt to impress her with his knowledge. When I finished making my neg, and was breaking down my setup, I heard him tell her, as I was walking away," He does not yet know it, but he had his lens on upside down".

Jeff Scott
7-Jun-2002, 23:07
One time Bruce Barnbaum told me that at one of his printing workshops while orienting some students to his darkroom he heard a person around the corner using his paper cutter. He went to check it out and found a student with an open box of paper cutting it into smaller pieces. He asked her why she was doing this with the room lights on and her reply was that the box was labelled "Open Only In Darkroom" !!!!!!!

James Phillips
8-Jun-2002, 18:28
I had just begun in LF and was out trying to learn more about my camera, a Calumet older view model in a National Park. With my wife's reluctant help I lugged the case, (like a suitcase) tripod, and other things down a steep trail to a fast moving river with many rapids. Much to my surprise there was an official kayak event going on with people from Canada, USA, France and other countries participating. I thought that this would be fun so I pulled out the camera and started setting things up. All of a sudden a very official fellow came over and told me to bring my camera equipment and follow him. He quickly turned and began to walk away towards a very advantageous viewpoint lined with people. I grabbed my equipment and followed. He told some of the people that they would need to move, as I would need room to set-up.

That's when I noticed his crest showing he was with the Federal Park Service. Well I had a great time shooting the kayaks and the action but am sad to say that as a very beginner I did not come away with any really great shots. On the way back to our truck I mentioned to the wife that I could not believe how nice that Park Ranger was to help me like that. She laughed and told me that she was talking with him while I was busy shooting. Apparently he thought I was from a very prominent Sport's magazine on assignment to shoot the event because who else would carry all that equipment down the mountain side for such an event.