View Full Version : Do they breed in the closet?

22-Jul-2008, 13:30
Holy CRAP! I have just done an inventory of my LF gear for the insurace company...

I now have: a 90mm, three 135mm, three 150mm, SIX!!! 210mm, a 240mm and a 300mm

and those are just the ones that are worth mentioning to the insurance co...

Where the dickens did all these lenses come from? Seems like they must be breeding in the closet or something....how am I supposed to explain all this to my wife?

John Kasaian
22-Jul-2008, 13:37
You're a collector.

22-Jul-2008, 13:43
"Explain to your wife?" Now that's a mistake...

22-Jul-2008, 13:52
You're a collector.

No, no, no! I can't be! Anything but that!
OK, Well, maybe...I'm wondering especially about all those 210's??!?!?!

What if I sell some? I tried once....but, I ended up just buying more....egad!

Michael Graves
22-Jul-2008, 14:21
All those lenses are the result of GAS. Then you get in a situation like I'm in where you decide to get rid of a bunch of it and don't even remember where it came from!

Ole Tjugen
22-Jul-2008, 14:22
That's not a collection, it's an accumulation.

I know this, since I have one myself.

I don't really know how many 210mm's I have - there's a Symmar, a Xenar, another Xenar (4.5 vs 6.1), an Angulon, a Tessar, a Dagor, a Collinear, a Protar VIIa, a Heliar, at least three Aplanats and a couple of Rapid Rectilinears, and...

It's an accumulation, not a collection. A collection is when you have one of every single 210mm ever made. ;)

Ron Marshall
22-Jul-2008, 15:18
You have enough lenses, now you need a few more cameras!

Ole Tjugen
22-Jul-2008, 15:20

forgot a G-Claron, at least.

The current count of cameras is around 14, I believe. :p

22-Jul-2008, 15:31
I've five LF cameras...three that I use regularly and two that are kinda...well, not used as much.

Ralph Barker
22-Jul-2008, 15:45
Yep, you sound like a collector, Brad, er, I mean accumulator. ;)

Glenn Thoreson
22-Jul-2008, 15:54
They not only breed in the closet at night when you're not looking, but after you wake up and find them they go hide, leaving you to search for them 'till you go insane in the noggin. I'm not even going to try to guess how many I have. I know I have a beauty of a Voigtlander Triple Anastigmat that I got from Ole, saving him from having to make reservations at the Ha-Ha Hotel. :D

Jim Fitzgerald
22-Jul-2008, 20:40
I feel your pain! When you see one of those "must have lenses" you can always justify it! For me I just find it hard to pay the rent sometimes! I must admit I have a rather large assortment of 12" lenses both old and new. With LF and ULF cameras I never run out of choices.


Paul Fitzgerald
23-Jul-2008, 06:44

you're not a collector or accumulator, you simply gathered them together for a shot-out to see which one wins. I guess that's why I now have (16) 360mm/14" lenses. Damn, thanks for bringing it up.

Oh well.

23-Jul-2008, 07:27
You don't have enough. That's barely scratching the surface.

Brian Ellis
23-Jul-2008, 07:27
For starters you could tell her one set is for color and the other is for black and white.

Dan Fromm
23-Jul-2008, 08:49

No matter how hard I try, I can't get lenses to reproduce. I've never found them mating, have never found new little ones, and they're always silent; there's no heavy breathing in the drawers where they live.

The lens fairy has never left one under my pillow or replaced one left under my pillow with money. I no longer believe in the lens fairy.

But I do seem to order lenses and then forget I've done it. Or perhaps I order them in my sleep.

Might you order lenses in your sleep?

Do kind strangers occasionally send you lenses? I ask because every so often a parcel turns up on my doorstop with a lens or several and a heart-rending note begging me to take them in and care for them. Some character in Nevada, I think his name is Galli, has sent me a couple of lenses with such notes.



Oh, and by the way, were you bragging or complaining?

23-Jul-2008, 09:58
...Oh, and by the way, were you bragging or complaining?

Uh-oh! I can see how it might come across as either...but, I loath both.

No, I like to think I was kinda publicly berating myself for such ridiculous behaviour. You know poking fun at myself. Luckily, others saw it that way and joined in. :)

Steven Barall
23-Jul-2008, 10:48
You tell your wife that they do indeed breed in the closet and then ask her to pass the string beans. Problem solved.

23-Jul-2008, 12:38
You tell your wife that they do indeed breed in the closet and then ask her to pass the string beans. Problem solved.

And if that doesn't work, point out that lenses are sort of like women's shoes: although they may appear, to a member of the opposite gender, to be interchangeable and redundant, there really are things that make each one special and indispensable.

Of course, this approach may result in there being no remaining room in the closet to store the lenses.....

23-Jul-2008, 14:13
yup! they been breading in my closet for some time now! even when i send them to someone else's closet i still get more in mine.....happens in the drawer too!

i have started to keep them in an old china cabinet. i figure the glass doors may help reduce their reproductive behavior.....lets see if they are shy behind glass. i even try to separate them into individual boxes....to no avail.

i thought i was onto something the other day. i put an 11x14 camera in with an 8x10....i was hoping to get a 10x12 or at ;east some more 8x10s! but i got nothing! maybe the gestation period is much longer for cameras! lenses seem to be about half the time of the average rodent!

Ole Tjugen
23-Jul-2008, 15:20
Cameras do indeed have a longer gestation period, and some seems to be rather specific in their proclivities. Putting a Gandolfi together with a Voigtländer did nothing, but three German plate cameras did seem to come to some arrangement - as did three Gandolfis. ;)

Diane Maher
24-Jul-2008, 05:08
For starters you could tell her one set is for color and the other is for black and white.

LOL! I love this one. Maybe I should tell my husband that. ;) On the other hand, he can't understand why I shoot black and white when the world is in color. :confused:

24-Jul-2008, 07:34
aren't you glad you can stash them in a closet ... you could have a small warehouse filled with a growing collection of vintage automobiles like one friend of mine