Commandments of Cruising for Snaps

[Bruce Barlow]

Our latest Fine Focus Workshop completed, I was cleaning out all the junk a fellow instructor left in my van, finding among the empty and full water bottles, coffee cups, donut crumbs, and paper napkins his fine digital SLR and his Linhof tripod. It occurred to me that there are unspoken “Commandments of Cruising for Snaps” with others. I started writing them down. There are more than ten. Here’s the first installment, “Photographing Commandments.”

Students left my van clean, by the way. An instructor left all the stuff. He knows who he is.

“Vehicle Commandments” and “Restaurant Commandments” will follow.

What did I miss? We’re adding this to our 80-plus-page handout, credit will be given to additions we decide to incorporate.


PHOTOGRAPHING COMMANDMENTS

Thou shalt be allowed to call for a stop to photograph at any time, and it shall be done.

Thou shalt share thy favorite secret places with thy companions, especially if thou likest thy companions.

Thou art allowed to swear them to secrecy concerning the location of thy secret places, including turning off those damn GPS things.

Thou shalt work efficiently and quickly, so that others do not constantly wait for thee.

Thou shalt wait patiently for others who work more slowly than thee, or make more pictures.

Thou shalt not tread in thy companions’ pictures, especially in snow.

Thou shalt refrain from critiquing thy companions’ pictures, unless specifically asked to do so.

Thou shalt refrain from asking to look through another’s groundglass or viewfinder.

Thou shalt only murmur appreciatively if asked to look through another’s groundglass.

Thou shalt not seek out thy companions’ tripod holes after they depart them.

Thou shalt not stare or shoot over thy companions’ shoulder.

Thou shalt be enthusiastically supportive of companions, no matter how bad thou thinkest art their pictures.

Thou shalt bring all needed equipment and film, so that thou doest refrain from mooching.

Thou shalt refrain from distracting others while they concentrate on making their photographs.

Thou shalt refrain from placing thy companions at risk of physical harm by taking them to places too dangerous.

If thou makest pictures of thy companions in action, thou owest them prints, no matter how unsuccessful thou thinkest the photographs, or how ugly art thy companions.

..with tongue only partly in cheek,

[Ralph Barker]

Good list, Bruce.

I might quibble with, "Thou shalt refrain from asking to look through another’s groundglass". Doing so (politely, and once only) might be permitted if their GG is substantially larger than your own.

[Mike H.]

Bruce,

Great list! I'd like to pass it on. Art thou the one to credit for such erudite pronouncements? :)

[Scott Davis]

Another one to add...

Thou shalt not request to borrow lenses even if they are on the same lensmount or compatible lensboard, unless the owner of said lens is in a generous mood and trying to show off the lens.

[Donald Qualls]

"As thou dost not critique thy companion's pictures, thou shalt likewise not criticize their equipment or film choices unless specifically invited, and then only constructively; similarly shalt thou not preach of the Zone System except to those who ask to hear that Gospel."

[Terence McDonagh]

Thou shalt covet thy neighbors gear.

General Cruising rules (which are not specific to photography)

Thou shalt call "shotgun" for the front seat, but only once thine car is in sight.

Thou shalt not eat beans (etc) the night before Thy Holy Road Trip.

If thou hast eaten beans the night before, but before The Trip was planned, thou shalt not pass malodorus vapors with the windows up.

Thine driver controls the tunes. Anyone caught changing said tunes shall be smote.

[Mike Boden]

Thou shalt call "shotgun" for the front seat, but only once thine car is in sight.


Hahahahahahahaha....check out the following link for some "official" shotgun rules. :cool:

http://www.shotgunguide.com/

My favorite rule is "Ozzie Pissbolt".

[Steve Feldman]

LOL - Great thread.

"Thou shalt not attempt to maketh a fine photograph in the hamlet of Fresno, as doing so is not possible"

[John Bowen]

Bruce,

Great List!!!

I may be guilty of breaking a couple of your commandments. But, just the other day I was out "cruisin' fer snaps" with two good friends and when they departed I had a good laugh as I cleaned my vehicle of their empty coffee cups....no digital cameras left behind though.

I too, can curse those damn GPS things, mine malfunctioned and I failed to properly mark a wonderful "secret" place.....good think that map I purchased had the power plant marked :-)

One to add to your list...
Thou shall inquire, in advance, if fellow photographers have their life insurance paid up prior to having them risk their lives in order to reach said secret location.

Much darkroom work ahead,

John

[Ed K.]

Great list!

Plus, depending upon thy company,

1. Thou shalt get up early and not doddle or potch when departing.

2. Thou shalt feed thyself or bring lunch and not get hungry at dusk or dawn.

3. Thou shalt not insist upon departing when the light is getting just right.

4. Thou shalt bring good luck, weather and light.

5. Thou shalt avoid the scented oils, parfumes and pungent cheeses.

6. If thou doest ask another to bringeth film or renteth long lenses, thou
shalt pay the bearer of same promptly for such reliefs.

7. Thou shalt not moon the park rangers or wildlife at any time or otherwise
draw undue attention to thyself.

8. Thou shalt never complain, gripe, moan, sob or otherwise whine.

9. Thou shalt refrain from references to patron saints such as Ansel, and avoid
any duplications of the sacred works.

10.If thy mood doth not suit making photographs, thou shalt be open minded
to serve as a prop or talent, or at least diggeth the carriage from the
sand or mud when asked, or serve as moveable ballast when aboard a
ship at sea.

11.Thou shalt taketh no short cuts, and stick to the plan at all times.

12.Thou shalt indeed have a plan, in advance, and discuss it with others
to ensure harmony.

13.Thou shalt not chimp over the images in thy digital camera, or claim
to have some advantage over others for posessing such a device.

14.Thou shalt drive slow and away from others on the dirt trails, such as
thy dust maketh a foul cloud over them.

Frankly, I don't believe that photography cruising is a very good group sport
when images are desired. It's is fun as long as nobody is too serious about it, and
good to have company while scouting. Very few people can do group
photography shoots and still come back home as friends. Cheers to all
that have done it, and still do - you've got to be good people!!!

[Bruce Barlow]

Note to John Bowen:

The Vehicle Commandments are to follow. Pertaining to your courteous thread, the world should know that those empty coffee cups belonged to Richard Ritter and me. As makers of the commandments, we were the first to break them!


Yup, I wrote these down, so blame is mine.

Lots of wonderful additions. I'm stealing them all. Thanks!

And hey, John, didn't you get the leftover cookies? Not quite payback, but it was a long drive home for you.

Moses is our African Grey Parrot's name, by the way. We're teaching him to recite these - check back in about 15 years...

[Donald Qualls]

Hey, if he's an African Grey, you might be able to get him to the point where you can say "Moses, what's rule four?" and he'll recite just that one... Damned smart birds!

[Bruce Barlow]

Hey, if he's an African Grey, you might be able to get him to the point where you can say "Moses, what's rule four?" and he'll recite just that one... Damned smart birds!

Way too smart for MY own good. He's ten feet outside my office right now saying, in my son's teenage voice: "Daaady!" He wants attention, but he doesn't like being in here, for reasons I've never figured out.

OK, here's the rest of the commandments. Mr. Bowen will note just how many Richard and I violated the other day:

Vehicle Commandments

Thou shalt take up only thy fair share of available storage space and no more

Thou shalt leave behind that which takes up more than thy fair share of space

Thou shalt carry a garbage bag with thee on all excursions

Thou shalt clean up all thy own garbage and more in thy driver’s car

Thou shalt remember to take all thy equipment out of thy driver’s car at day’s end

Thou shalt buy gas for thy driver

Thou shalt operate neatly in thy driver’s car, and not let thy equipment tumble all over the place

Thou shalt refrain from spilling any drinks or crumbs in thy driver’s car

Thou shalt refrain from leaning thy tripod against thy driver’s car, lest it fall and scrape paint

Thou shalt pull thy equipment from the vehicle quickly, so that others may get theirs

Thou shalt take everything thou needest for photographing, so that thy driver need not return with you to fetch, for example, thy darkcloth, different lens, or film from thy driver’s locked car

Thou shalt not place thy, or others’, expensive equipment on top of thy driver’s car, where, as thou drivest off, it will scratch the paint as it flies off and becomes destroyed.

Restaurant Commandments

Thou shalt pay thy fair share of the bill without fuss, kicking in extra if thou eatest more expensive chow.

Otherwise, thou shalt split the bill and tip evenly without protest

Thou shalt buy thy driver lunch, coffee, and snacks, however

Thou shalt visit the restroom before leaving if thou even has a hint of needing to goest.


That'll do. Thanks again for the additions! What else have we missed?

[John Bowen]

One more for the road.... (Sorry, I just couldn't help myself)

So long as at the end of the day, thou hast had a wonderful time with thy fellow photographers; thou shall forgive and forget any commandments broken by thy friends and look forward to a repeat adventure.

Oh, yes, those cookies...I knew there was more than coffee cups left in the vehicle...they stayed in Brattleboro, else I be mistaken for a moose!!!

Much thanks to my hosts Bruce and Richard. If you haven't yet taken a Fine Focus Workshop, you owe it to yourself. Bruce, Richard and Ted have done a world of good for my photography. I took my first workshop with them in October, returned last week for a second and look forward to their fall foliage workshop in September. Oh, and when you do go, be sure to bring prints. Their open, honest, constructive print reviews are priceless.

[Paul Metcalf]

Bruce-
An obvious ammendment to one of the rules:




Thou shalt remember to take all thy equipment out of thy driver’s car at day’s end


Lest you sacrifice ownership of said equipment to driver (especially if it's really expensive).

[Donald Qualls]

He's ten feet outside my office right now saying, in my son's teenage voice: "Daaady!" He wants attention, but he doesn't like being in here, for reasons I've never figured out.

My guess on this is that the sound of a CRT monitor hurts his tiny little ears (which are perfectly capable of hearing the 40 KHz horizontal scan). Does he avoid TV, too?

[Bruce Barlow]

My guess on this is that the sound of a CRT monitor hurts his tiny little ears (which are perfectly capable of hearing the 40 KHz horizontal scan). Does he avoid TV, too?

Really? I had no idea about the sound issue, but that makes a lot of sense. I'll try having him in here when the flat panels are shut down.

No, Moses loves TV. His favorite movie is "Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill." He likes it when we get the DVDs of "Scrubs," too.

Thanks for the idea. You got birds, too?

[Colin Robertson]

A burglar sneaks into a house in the dead of night. As he prowls, a voice says "Jesus is watching you! Jesus is watching you!" He freezes, then cautiously turns on his flashlight. A parrot is looking right at him.
"Holy shit," hisses the burglar. "Did you say that?"
"Yeah," replies the parrot. I'm Moses."
The burglar sneers, "What kinda people would call a parrot Moses?"
"The same kind that would call a rotweiller Jesus. . . ."

[Donald Qualls]

Really? I had no idea about the sound issue, but that makes a lot of sense. I'll try having him in here when the flat panels are shut down.

No, Moses loves TV. His favorite movie is "Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill." He likes it when we get the DVDs of "Scrubs," too.

Thanks for the idea. You got birds, too?

Might be that TV wouldn't bother him -- it's a much lower horizontal frequency than most modern computer monitors, unless you have HD (and even that reduces scan when watching NTSC signal from VHS or DVD).

Nope, don't have birds, but when I was a kid I was the only person I knew who could hear a TV scan (lost the ability when I grew up a bit and took up shooting -- the loud variety involving lead, brass, and steel -- and later lost more working as a nail gun repair technician).

[RichardRitter]

Thou shalt share thy favorite secret places with thy companions, especially if thou likest thy companions.

I’m the guilty one. When Bruce did his paper test the first thing I said when I saw the prints was “I know where this is from”. The negative was from his lost negatives collection. This past May on a photo outing after the workshop I took him to the spot. When we got there, the water level was 3 feet higher then normal, so some the secret beauty of the area was hidden.

[Eric Rose]

Thou shalt not make photography trip into a competitive thing.

[Ted Harris]

And .... if thou comest to New Hampshire or Vermont, Bruce and Richard and I will show you all of our most favorite 'secret' spots .... especially if you come to a Fine Focus Workshop.

Someone might even bake cookies.

[Ed K.]

Thou shalt not propose anything too expensive or anything taking place at times other than the sabboth if thou wilst keep the company of photographers, for they are both frugal, and industrious in their alter egos.

Also, adapted from an email authored by another -

"If thou wilst not bear the emoluments commensurate to the stable and jackass keeper for cartage of thy arcane boxes and alchemy, bring thy boss instead, for the boss is often the greatest jackass of them all."

[Brian Vuillemenot]

"If thou wilst not bear the emoluments commensurate to the stable and jackass keeper for cartage of thy arcane boxes and alchemy, bring thy boss instead, for the boss is often the greatest jackass of them all."

I think that's especially true among those of us who are self-employed. ;)

[Robert Skeoch]

Here's another commandment to add....

thou shalt not allow others to look at your ground glass if it's bigger than theirs, preventing lusting after a new camera, and saving a friend a fortune in upgrades.

[David_Senesac]

Just looking at this aging thread now and enjoying the insights to something I've not yet experienced. In my couple dozen years as a serious photographer, I've never taken any type of outdoor photography field workshop, so these lists of commandments are insightful beyond being humorous. Bruce maybe you might explain to me what is behind,"Thou shalt refrain from asking to look through another’s groundglass or viewfinder." Of course being with trusted photography friends and a group of new acquaintances are not quite the same.

I often do trips with another large format friend and we regularly will look at each other's groundglass on a few shots. Sometimes we become impressed enough that we will insist on also taking the other's shot too though tend to try and vary the position some. More importantly we just enjoy viewing each other's creative discoveries and sharing such. For most shots simply standing at a camera position is enough to understand what is framed but looking in at the groundglass often brings out the refined positional geometries. When we look at each other's groundglass it is either after exposing film or when first tripoding into a position and crudely framing but before getting down to the more serious framing and focusing. I could certainly understand a commandment like, "Thou shalt refrain from asking to look through another’s groundglass or viewfinder before exposing film." since knocking something out of alignment and adjustment is all too easy. I'm guessing the commandment has to do with some group nuisance and or waste of time if the activity gets out of hand at every location people try and work. ...David

[John Bowen]

When traveling in multiple vehicles.....Thou shalt make sure that thy lead driver knows where he is headed, has a basic understanding of east vs west and knows his left from right.

Those that attended the Fine Focus Fall Foliage Workshop will understand this inside joke.

John

[John Bowen]

One more....... With regard to riding shotgun....He with the longest legs rides shotgun.

John

[Bruce Barlow]

When traveling in multiple vehicles.....Thou shalt make sure that thy lead driver knows where he is headed, has a basic understanding of east vs west and knows his left from right.

Those that attended the Fine Focus Fall Foliage Workshop will understand this inside joke.

John

Why John, are you referring to Ted "Wrong Way" Harris? Be kind, I won a buck off him when he insisted that the restaurant was on the right side, and was...inaccurate.

[Ted Harris]

Hanging my head in shame ...... at least I had the right road! And,laughing at myself cause 1) I was the one hwo had been there many times before and 2) I am always accusing Amy of giving me bad directions lof that sort while I am driving ..... hope she isn't following this thread!

[John Bowen]

Why John, are you referring to Ted "Wrong Way" Harris?

As Mom always says.....if the shoe fits....:D

[John Bowen]

Isn't it kind of ironic how this thread both started with Ted (left stuff in Bruce's van) and ended with Ted aka Wrong Way Harris.