I just screwed up and fell off the wagon [Archive]

Michael Graves

2-Mar-2006, 19:27

Just tell her that you did it so you would have His and Hers models. After all, they're the same camera only one is smaller.

BTW: I have both sizes of 2D in my collection as well, and both are excellent users. Since I recently acquired a Toyo 810M, I was going to put the 8x10 2D on the auction block. And MY absolute mistress who owns the keys to the collar insisted that I NOT sell it because it was the prettier one of the two.

John Z.

2-Mar-2006, 19:34

I am free of the camera-aholic phase, after a few years, and am now in the lensaholic phase. I have a Dagor 480, and ordered a second one! I was pretty relieved when the deal fell through due to some lens separation issues. Whew!

eric mac

2-Mar-2006, 19:36

There is always room at the Chateau Bow wow.

ronald moravec

2-Mar-2006, 20:35

My wife would rather have me spend money on cameras than tobacco , booze, other women so I generally get a blank check. I got permisson for a digital SLR last month. For reasons below, the urge passed in a week or so.

After a while, you get so you don`t want any more cause there`s no place to put it, can`t carry but a fraction of what you have, or more stuff won`t improve your work.

To those who are not so fortunate, you can always claim it is borrowed or you will sell something to pay for it. Of course selling a treasure usually does not happen, but it will work a few times. Or just serve your time in the small house with Rover.

chris jordan

2-Mar-2006, 20:41

Ha!! Well not that I'm in the same boat or anything, but let's just say that on the the day my new Wehman 8x10 arrives, I'm praying that I'm out gardening in front of the house so I can intercept the box from the UPS guy and sprint directly for the back door of the studio...

~cj

www.chrisjordan.com

Brian Ellis

2-Mar-2006, 22:38

"Maybe she won't notice because it will look just like my 5x7 2d."

That should work. I convinced my wife that my new 2D was really my old Deardorff.

Henry Suryo

2-Mar-2006, 23:15

Capocheny

3-Mar-2006, 00:07

Mark,

LOL... at least it's not hard on your liver, lungs, or genital-urinary systems! :)

.

Chris,

The trick is to get to know your neighbors WELL! :)

Cheers

Duane Polcou

3-Mar-2006, 00:27

Gawd, what a bunch of weenies. This is what gives photographers a bad rep. You don't see musicians asking their women if they can have (British accent) "just one more guitar". No. They have a room dedicated to Stratocasters and Gibsons and they walk around with tight leather pants and armadillos in their trousers and their women know who is in charge. So buy your carmera and hang it around your neck like some absurd piece of hip hop jewelry and pass a mirror and realize that photographers will never be as cool as musicians
so maybe you had better just just hide the receipts and when your wife asks if you have a new camera accuse her of seeing things and she should have her macular degeneration checked by a competent opthamologist.

Shen45

3-Mar-2006, 01:30

Are you guys for real?? If you feel so guilty or under the thumb with a passion that keeps you sane then the problem is not the camera -- it is your manhood.

Get a life, and I address this cllectively to the wimps who want to scurry away from the all seeing wife's eye, you don't have a problem with photography you have a problem with relationships.

If buying your latest fix deprives you and your family of food on the table then you are a fool but if it is within your financial means then stop carrying on like a 2 year old.

No wonder young men today haven't got a clue when it comes to life.

Henry Suryo

3-Mar-2006, 02:06

Me personally, the remorse is to myself for letting me indulge in such an intoxicating addiction as photography.

medform-norm

3-Mar-2006, 02:10

Is LF photography usually the husband's hobby? Anybody here married to a photographer, someone who not only tolerates but also shares the passion and spend excessively on photo gears? Is there such a wife? Please tell me, I've been searching for her for years.

They do exist. We've been married for years and there's no way she would exchange her place with anyone here. But keep looking, keep looking. The down side of this is, though, that you'll both be excessively poor spending all extra money on camera stuff. This means no new clothes, no dishwasher (who needs that, for the same amount of money you could get a ....), no dryer, etc. etc. For some people that could be boring as well, at least more boring than intercepting the USPS and sprinting to the garden shed ;-)

Dawid

3-Mar-2006, 02:30

I'm also having problems fighting the addiction esp. if one sees for what stupid prices gear are sold for on Ebay. Last week "accidently" bought a 6x9 Agfa Record III. Its incredibly easy to justify if one compare things like that to the price of a new dSLR. However will there ever be something as the Deardorff / Linhof etc. of digital cameras that will sell for the same and more 50 years later ?!

Cheers

Andre Noble

3-Mar-2006, 04:01

As a bachelor who indulges on LF as he can spare the disposable income, I used to think like Steve and not understand all this. But as a bachelor still with perhaps just a little bit more wisdom now, I understand a little that the game changes when you get married.

Shen45

3-Mar-2006, 04:34

I understand all of this perfectly well:) I'm not a bachelor and have been [and still am] HAPPILY married for 32 years to a beautiful lady that understands my passion for photography and I understand her passion for fashion and gardening. I am by no means wealthy but over the years I've managed to get a nice kit of camera gear that hasn't impacted on any "real" family needs. Wants and needs. Photography gear falls somewhere in between the two.

Have a look at some of the cowering posts seeking attention, and yes I do understand some are said with tongue in cheek but learn to stand by the choices you have made. Choices come with consequences. If you really fear your wife, or for that matter the choices you have made that much then the camera certainly isn't the problem.

Robert A. Zeichner

3-Mar-2006, 05:17

I feel very fortunate that my wife is comfortable with my belief that one cannot own too many cameras or too many lenses. I just try to sell something I'm not using to fund the addiction.

Bill_1856

3-Mar-2006, 05:39

The danger comes, not from your buying the camera, but from her thinking that mariage is a 50/50 proposition, and if you can buy an expensive camera without consulting her, then she is entitled to buy something even more expensive and you will never know about it until you balance the checkbook. If she handles the money, well then Buddy, you're screwed.

Ben Calwell

3-Mar-2006, 06:09

My wife handles the money, and I am screwed. The only way I can justify a new camera or lens on my paltry salary is if I can convince Jim at Midwest to trade me even-steven for whatever piece of gear I'm lusting after (currently a 305 G-Claron that, surprisingly, is still languishing on the Midwest Web site).

Robert McClure

3-Mar-2006, 06:52

Let's come to order, group, and work our Steps One and Two together:

1. "We admitted we were powerless over view cameras - and that our lives had become unmanageable."

2. "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Sounds like some of us have instinctively moved to Step 10: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Ha, ha!
Cheers, All

Rich Voninski

3-Mar-2006, 06:55

Do what I do. I always tell her that I bought it for her. That it is a gift for her!

RichieV

Mark_3632

3-Mar-2006, 07:40

Lighten up Steve. Before your lecture-from-dear-old-dad post this was fun.

Now back to reality.

What about step three? I am pretty good with steps 1 and 2.

Mark Carney

3-Mar-2006, 07:54

Every excuse, rationalization, fear, angst, desire, need, concern I've had over the last 20+ years governing the aquisition of gear has been voiced here.

It's all true.
We go in cycles.
I'm now in the 'I could do this if I had that mode' and am coming very close to:
Selling everything I don't need to get it. (fat chance)
Or
Finding an empty credit card and living with it.

Mark

Frank Petronio

3-Mar-2006, 08:09

You mean you guys haven't figured that you can solve this problem by having your camera stuff sent to your mistress's apartment? Com'on...

Ken Lee

3-Mar-2006, 08:21

A friend of mine collects guns, which he keeps under lock and key in a special closet.

He has an arrangement with his wife: she can't complain about his gun closet, and he can't complain about her shoe closet.

Another approach: Tell her it's cheaper than a psychiatrist.

Aaron van de Sande

3-Mar-2006, 08:21

The difference is the stuff I buy I can turn around and sell and usually get my money back. The women buys stuff that is essentially worthless.

Jim Galli

3-Mar-2006, 09:53

Tell her that the camera is actually one of a very finite number of accessory lens holders for an infinite number of lens possibilities. That'll take her mind off the camera.

Robert McClure

3-Mar-2006, 10:00

Response to Mark's comment:

Step Three: "Made the decision to turn our will and our lives over to our lust for Photography as we understood it."

(BTW, no offense to any recovering substance abusers out there. Anyone curious about the actual Twelve Step Program can contact me privately off-line, if you wish.)

FWIW, IMHO, and if anyone is interested, we are, all of us, addicts. I mean this in the sense that we seem built to need to become "attached" to something. Whether sex, or money, or physical possessions, or knowledge, or pumping adrenaline, or anything (including photography or our particular perspective on "God," or 12-step group attendance.) It's just that Ethanol or Cocaine addictions, to name a few, can have far more serious effects on our health.

That said, wonderful things have been achieved by many of we "addicts." Walker Evans, Alfred Stieglitz, Edward Weston, etc.

That said, "addictions" (to whatever substance or idea or material object) can conveniently serve to insulate us from having to honestly confront our aloneness in a world we do not understand.

That said, anybody know where to get a 7x17 filmholder repaired?

Scott Rosenberg

3-Mar-2006, 10:14

every time i read one of these threads, i appreciate my wife more and more.

CXC

3-Mar-2006, 10:50

I sold some unused stuff, so now I have $1650 in the LF fund. My problem is, I have everything I could possibly use: 4x5's, 5x7, 8x10, lenses 65mm - 600mm. I already took a stab at ULF, decided it was not for me. There's nothing left to buy! What will I do?

I'm thinking about a second 8x10, dedicated to wide angle, since mine won't take a bag bellows. Or maybe a 120 Noblex...

darr

3-Mar-2006, 11:07

Every time I read one of these threads, I appreciate my husband more and more. ;o)

Marko

3-Mar-2006, 12:39

Aaron: The difference is the stuff I buy I can turn around and sell and usually get my money back. The women buys stuff that is essentially worthless.

Diamonds, maybe? They tend to keep value pretty good, better than LF cameras even.

LOL.

Seriously, remember the two golden rules:

1. When they talk, men convey what they think and women express what they feel.

2. People in general and women in particular will often forget what you said or did (bought), but they'll alwyas remember how you made them feel.

So, maybe the next time the bug bites, split the funds between a camera and, say, a nice diamond pendant and chances are you won't have to squeeze the pooch. Perhaps you'll even get the boss to anticipate the next purchase?

Another upside to this strategy would be hedging the money so that the depreciation of the camera caused by wear and tear would be offset by the diamond's appeciation. Either way, it's a win-win situation.

And yeah, Scott, me too! :)

Kirk Gittings

3-Mar-2006, 12:46

I could come home with a grenade launcher and my wife wouldn't notice. Just tell her it is a loaner while the other one is being repaired.

Brian Ellis

3-Mar-2006, 12:52

"Have a look at some of the cowering posts seeking attention, and yes I do understand some are said with tongue in cheek but learn to stand by the choices you have made. Choices come with consequences. If you really fear your wife, or for that matter the choices you have made that much then the camera certainly isn't the problem."

Relax, it's a humorous thread (or it was until you and a couple others decided to don your Dr. Phil hats). Don't you think it's just a little presumptuous to be analyzing relationships and offering marital advice based on a couple lines posted in a large format photography internet group?

Mark_3632

3-Mar-2006, 13:54

Marko, If I spent the same amount on my wife as I spent on this camera I would have to give her cubic zirconia. That would be insulting.

Marko

3-Mar-2006, 14:14

mark, of course. But if you gave her a real diamond and told her what you just said, I'm willing to bet that she'd encourage you to upgrade real soon :))

Scott Fleming

3-Mar-2006, 14:46

CXC,

Have you seen that new 'Cube' head by Arca Swiss?

Ian Swarbrick

4-Mar-2006, 02:10

My wife`s sub-conscious assumption is that whenever I buy a piece of large format gear I`m taking myself further away from my risky alpinism habit and further towards safer middle-aged respectabilty. And so, curiously, I meet no resistance to such financial outlays.
But if I spent money on a digital camera, that would be another thing entirely.

Agnes

4-Mar-2006, 02:49

My dear husband sent me here to read this thread to educate me "as to how men REALLY feel". My $0.02 is that please DO tell her. For a couple of reasons. First, we do know. We know that you bought something new because we find proof even when we don't look for it (the classic "receipt in the pocket found on laundry day" scenario), we see your sheepish look, and yes, we see you running with a UPS package to the garage. We appreciate that your escapism is a thinking man's addiction, and that you replaced (hopefully did not add to) the dysfunctionality of alcoholism, drugs, womanizing, bar hopping, workaholism etc with cameraholism, lensaholism, filteraholism. As I see it, this is all innocent when we look at the big picture. Second, what we cherish in a relationship is connection. If you break the trust by being dishonest and ridicule our intelligence, we'll find it really hard to relate to you, so Rover and dog chow enters the picture. Third, we partnered up with you because we respected you. Be yourself, own your choices and decisions. And to those who think the stuff that women buy is worthless and quickly depreciate, well, my Vicky’s Secret collection is worth every penny... Au revoir, gentlemen, let me sail to estrogen friendly waters...Hon', can I get my 3Ms now?

Frank Petronio

4-Mar-2006, 07:54

Here's my list (http://frankpetronio.com/archive/the_cameraholic.html). I'm on the second wife.

Jim Galli

4-Mar-2006, 10:05

Frank! You need a Cirkut Camera!! (http://www.apug.org/classifieds/showproduct.php?product=1056&sort=1&cat=500&page=1) With apologies to Ralph for breaking the rules.

Doug Dolde

4-Mar-2006, 10:46

A wise man once asked which is sadder a wedding or a funeral? After only a brief period of consideration he concluded a wedding.

Ralph Barker

4-Mar-2006, 11:36

Doug - he was obviously a glass-half-empty sort of wise man. Both weddings and funerals have tremendous up-side potential - depending on one's perspective. ;-)

Stephen Willard

5-Mar-2006, 13:49

My wife grows jealous of my LF mistresses. She often complains how I gaze upon my wooden field cameras with a passion I do not show for her. To her my cameras are nothing more then young supple women. So I walk the edge between the wrath of my wife and the purchase of my next photographic seduction. And when I cross the line, I am confined to the Doghouse which, in my case, is my wonderful color darkroom.

I have explained to my wife that women and men are very different creatures with different needs. She and her friends have a strong need for community and relationships. Family, friends, and children are all part of that community. Without those kinds of relationships she would fail to grow and mature as woman. They are essential to her wellbeing.

Men, on the other hand, have different needs. Unlike women we need stuff, and no, stuff is NOT toys. Stuff to us is like community to her. It is essential to our growth and development as men. Without stuff, we will fail to mature as men, and this is particularly acute with men because men are naturally immature to begin with. Men who are denied stuff can quickly turn to addictions and other unpleasentries to fill that void.

Of course, not any stuff will do. The quality of my stuff is just as important as the quality of her relationships. I have made it very clear that EXPENSIVE stuff does make a difference!! There is no doubt in my mind, the more expensive our stuff, the more mature we as men will become. This is just a fact of life that defines the nature of men. Violate that fact and deny us our stuff, then we as men cannot be held accountable for our actions until, of course, we find ourselves in the Doghouse.

Mark_3632

5-Mar-2006, 14:16

Stephen,

Your wife did not buy that line of crap did she?? God, that was one the best things I have read lately.

Friday, when I got home from work, my wife was complaining about the camera I disassembled and did not reassemble the night before, but left cluttering up the kitchen table. Jokingly, I looked at our soon to be 4 year old son and said"Women! they just don't understand us men."

10 minutes later my wife came out to the kitchen where I was cleaning up my mess and informed me that she had asked our son to clean up a mess he left and he said "Women! you just don't understand us men." :))))