ha!!!!! i remember my first attempts at sheet film loading. don't worry-- within a few months you'll be an expert.
here's my technique. place the filmholder in front of you oriented horizontally, with the film slot opening facing to the right. then place your left hand thumb and forefinger so that they're touching the ends of the edges of the two rails that the film has to go in. then, bring the film in with your right hand, and guide it into the rails with the other two fingers acting like funnels. once the film has made it into the two rails, then push it the rest of the way into the holder with your right hand. push SLOWLY just in case there's dust on the bottom of the holder-- that way the dust won't scratch the film on the way in.
try it a bunch of times with one sheet of film in the light.
other tips: --dust on film is a huge problem in LF photography. make sure your filmholders are well dusted every time you load them. --remember to check the film notch, to make sure that you're loading the film right side up. it's a pretty big bummer to go out on a shoot and take a bunch of great shots, only to find you loaded the film upside down and exposed through the wrong side (i.e., no image)! as you load the film horizontally from the right (as above), the notch should be at the lower right.
~chris jordan (Seattle)