Commandments of Cruising for Snaps

[Bruce Barlow]

Note to John Bowen:

The Vehicle Commandments are to follow. Pertaining to your courteous thread, the world should know that those empty coffee cups belonged to Richard Ritter and me. As makers of the commandments, we were the first to break them!


Yup, I wrote these down, so blame is mine.

Lots of wonderful additions. I'm stealing them all. Thanks!

And hey, John, didn't you get the leftover cookies? Not quite payback, but it was a long drive home for you.

Moses is our African Grey Parrot's name, by the way. We're teaching him to recite these - check back in about 15 years...

[Donald Qualls]

Hey, if he's an African Grey, you might be able to get him to the point where you can say "Moses, what's rule four?" and he'll recite just that one... Damned smart birds!

[Bruce Barlow]

Hey, if he's an African Grey, you might be able to get him to the point where you can say "Moses, what's rule four?" and he'll recite just that one... Damned smart birds!

Way too smart for MY own good. He's ten feet outside my office right now saying, in my son's teenage voice: "Daaady!" He wants attention, but he doesn't like being in here, for reasons I've never figured out.

OK, here's the rest of the commandments. Mr. Bowen will note just how many Richard and I violated the other day:

Vehicle Commandments

Thou shalt take up only thy fair share of available storage space and no more

Thou shalt leave behind that which takes up more than thy fair share of space

Thou shalt carry a garbage bag with thee on all excursions

Thou shalt clean up all thy own garbage and more in thy driver’s car

Thou shalt remember to take all thy equipment out of thy driver’s car at day’s end

Thou shalt buy gas for thy driver

Thou shalt operate neatly in thy driver’s car, and not let thy equipment tumble all over the place

Thou shalt refrain from spilling any drinks or crumbs in thy driver’s car

Thou shalt refrain from leaning thy tripod against thy driver’s car, lest it fall and scrape paint

Thou shalt pull thy equipment from the vehicle quickly, so that others may get theirs

Thou shalt take everything thou needest for photographing, so that thy driver need not return with you to fetch, for example, thy darkcloth, different lens, or film from thy driver’s locked car

Thou shalt not place thy, or others’, expensive equipment on top of thy driver’s car, where, as thou drivest off, it will scratch the paint as it flies off and becomes destroyed.

Restaurant Commandments

Thou shalt pay thy fair share of the bill without fuss, kicking in extra if thou eatest more expensive chow.

Otherwise, thou shalt split the bill and tip evenly without protest

Thou shalt buy thy driver lunch, coffee, and snacks, however

Thou shalt visit the restroom before leaving if thou even has a hint of needing to goest.


That'll do. Thanks again for the additions! What else have we missed?

[John Bowen]

One more for the road.... (Sorry, I just couldn't help myself)

So long as at the end of the day, thou hast had a wonderful time with thy fellow photographers; thou shall forgive and forget any commandments broken by thy friends and look forward to a repeat adventure.

Oh, yes, those cookies...I knew there was more than coffee cups left in the vehicle...they stayed in Brattleboro, else I be mistaken for a moose!!!

Much thanks to my hosts Bruce and Richard. If you haven't yet taken a Fine Focus Workshop, you owe it to yourself. Bruce, Richard and Ted have done a world of good for my photography. I took my first workshop with them in October, returned last week for a second and look forward to their fall foliage workshop in September. Oh, and when you do go, be sure to bring prints. Their open, honest, constructive print reviews are priceless.

[Paul Metcalf]

Bruce-
An obvious ammendment to one of the rules:

Thou shalt remember to take all thy equipment out of thy driver’s car at day’s end

Lest you sacrifice ownership of said equipment to driver (especially if it's really expensive).

[Donald Qualls]

He's ten feet outside my office right now saying, in my son's teenage voice: "Daaady!" He wants attention, but he doesn't like being in here, for reasons I've never figured out.

My guess on this is that the sound of a CRT monitor hurts his tiny little ears (which are perfectly capable of hearing the 40 KHz horizontal scan). Does he avoid TV, too?

[Bruce Barlow]

My guess on this is that the sound of a CRT monitor hurts his tiny little ears (which are perfectly capable of hearing the 40 KHz horizontal scan). Does he avoid TV, too?

Really? I had no idea about the sound issue, but that makes a lot of sense. I'll try having him in here when the flat panels are shut down.

No, Moses loves TV. His favorite movie is "Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill." He likes it when we get the DVDs of "Scrubs," too.

Thanks for the idea. You got birds, too?

[Colin Robertson]

A burglar sneaks into a house in the dead of night. As he prowls, a voice says "Jesus is watching you! Jesus is watching you!" He freezes, then cautiously turns on his flashlight. A parrot is looking right at him.
"Holy shit," hisses the burglar. "Did you say that?"
"Yeah," replies the parrot. I'm Moses."
The burglar sneers, "What kinda people would call a parrot Moses?"
"The same kind that would call a rotweiller Jesus. . . ."

[Donald Qualls]

Really? I had no idea about the sound issue, but that makes a lot of sense. I'll try having him in here when the flat panels are shut down.

No, Moses loves TV. His favorite movie is "Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill." He likes it when we get the DVDs of "Scrubs," too.

Thanks for the idea. You got birds, too?

Might be that TV wouldn't bother him -- it's a much lower horizontal frequency than most modern computer monitors, unless you have HD (and even that reduces scan when watching NTSC signal from VHS or DVD).

Nope, don't have birds, but when I was a kid I was the only person I knew who could hear a TV scan (lost the ability when I grew up a bit and took up shooting -- the loud variety involving lead, brass, and steel -- and later lost more working as a nail gun repair technician).

[RichardRitter]

Thou shalt share thy favorite secret places with thy companions, especially if thou likest thy companions.

I’m the guilty one. When Bruce did his paper test the first thing I said when I saw the prints was “I know where this is from”. The negative was from his lost negatives collection. This past May on a photo outing after the workshop I took him to the spot. When we got there, the water level was 3 feet higher then normal, so some the secret beauty of the area was hidden.