Photography and (Clinical) Depression

[CXC]

I've been on anti-depressants for about 6 years. AND I own a 12x20 that I am not utilizing as I'd like. As PaulB mentions, it is very hard to get a project off the ground. Once it is going, it is not so hard to keep it going, and the going can relieve the depression some.

The technique with which I have had the most success, is shaping your day around the project. For me, projects are in addition to my normal work life, and I find that after a full day's work, the exhaustion and inertia are more than I can overcome for anything that takes concentration and energy. Therefore I have learned, the hard way, to get up before work and devote a block of time to the project. That's when I have the most energy, which I choose to devote to what is most important to me. This is still not easy, but it works somewhat, which is a hell of a lot better than not at all. It's hard enough for me to get going in the morning in the first place, and this just makes it harder. But once up, I have been known to be productive.

You may have a different rhythm of productivity. Figure out what it is, and schedule a daily, or weekly, routine to maximize your productivity for what is most important to you. With limited resources, it is imperative to utilize them as efficiently as possible. And routine is good.

I use the vague term "project" because it affects many other parts of my life than just photography.

Consider attending the Mammoth Camera Workshop this May in Scotland, with or without your ULF. They provide everything, including cameras. I'm thinking about it, to get over the hump.

Finally, don't make things even worse by beating yourself up over your own shortcomings. If you make the effort but can't get there, give yourself the day off, try again some other time.

Feel free to contact me offline.

[Daniel Grenier]

I showed this thread to my daughter who is a Psychologist/Counselor at a teen drug addiction centre and she agrees that photography is good therapy but it is certainly not a cure. She was impressed by your courage to "come out" on such a forum and share with us (a rarity in men!) but she strongly suggests professional intervention.

Do yourself the favor of a lifetime. Put the camera aside and seek professional treatment. It is available, it works, and it will make you a better photographer in the long run.

All the best to you and remmember that you have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

[Jim Galli]

Hello Robert. As it happens, the weekend before last I finished several 7X17 prints of a local farm truck. The original was done with "my keeper" 7X17 F&S and a 12" Goerz Dagor. One has your name on it if it would encourage you to "get to it". Send me your address again and I'll get one in the mail. A single 16X20 tray will work for developing until you locate a JOBO 2850 tank. Your dream is a good one, the pictures are very satisfying and give me a certain positive self esteem. Sadly, as others have so well said, not a cure, but certainly some powerfully satisfying moments. I think I've learned at 52 that moments are about all we get. The prints are just RC paper so I can roll one up to mail. Might just be the gentle "shove" that you need to get that kettle percolating. All the best to you my friend, jg

[Hans Berkhout]

If you haven't done so, flip through "Feeling Good" by Dr. Robert Burns. Read passages that strike you, passages where you recognise yourself. And then read his recommendations as to how to deal with the issues.

I think Paul Butzi's approach could be excellent for you, failing access to professional help.

Sometimes depression is caused by medical/treatable conditions, so you should get a complete physical incuding labwork (urine, bloodchemistry).

These things are not easy, good luck.

[Hans Berkhout]

sorry, it's written by David Burns M.D.

[David Flockhart]

I understand the dilema from experience. I found it helpful to allow the depression to find my topics for shooting. I couldn't go out and shoot just anything, expecially happy snaps, but because of the state of depression, I found that I could photograph what I saw from that state. In other words, the black place where depression takes you can itself be a place to find your images and in doing so undersatnd your situation better. Visual clues can speak of the inner state and provide a creative outlet for expression. So you don't have to step outside yourself to photograph, just be who you are and where you are. I can only say this was helpful to me. I did find that the energy to do the work was in sort supply but in the doing, (even when not really feeling like it) I found some joy during an otherwise bleak period of my life. Good luck. You aren't alone.

[Robert McClure]

My Friends,

Many thanks for your helpful suggestions. Over thirty-five of you responded and I am very grateful and touched. Each one of you had something valuable to suggest. Many thanks again! I plan to print out all of your words so that I may read them again more carefully.

I am currently being followed by a physician, take an antidepressant, and visit a psychotherapist/spiritual director twice monthly. BTW, I am a therapist myself and have been described as Cyclothymic. Then again Ray Charles told Ed Bradley one time on "60 Minutes" that his blindness was an inconvenience. "I can do anything you can do except drive!," Ray had said, chuckling.

As circumstances would have it, I began a project yesterday at the request of my wife. I have begun to install some storage shelves. Some of them will store developing supplies, chemistry, etc. As some of you suggested, I had to get going in some direction. This has helped.

Again, hearing from you all has really been great and you have helped.

Pax Vobiscum,

Robert McClure - Atlanta

[Wayne]

I also HIGHLY recommend Dr Burns book. Read the first 3 chapters, if you never do anything else. It will explain what is and what isnt known about brain malfunction, and it can help you recognize and correct cognitive errors that lead to depression. Thanks largely to this book, I rarely get depressed anymore, and I had depression for years before finding it. It is easily the best $7 I ever spent.

[Carlos]

A few years ago, I went into depression. Where it just came out of nowhere.
I saw a psychologist and he asked me what was my hobby/interest. He also asked basically if I was as prolific as before. Of course the answer was no.
I took anti-depressants for a few months, but what help me was a group therapy. In these meetings the moderators gave us exercises on how to deal with THOUGHTS and your mind. As it turned out, later on I found out that Buddhism deals with this a lot, via meditation.
Of course at the time I had medical insurance.
My God, what made me more frustrated was my inability and lack of enthusiasm to photograph.
Any way hope my two cents help.

[Turner Reich]

Find or see your doctor and get an accurate diagnosis then follow the treatment, it can be treated, don't let it go on it's not worth waiting and it's no shame.