hey all,
I'm kinda feeling "in a rut" right now in terms of not producing good work/printing/etc...
Having attempted to chase the "golden bullet" the last few months/years prior to this summer, I've come to realize that its NOT the equipment that makes a photograph, but rather, the subject and the photographers vision that makes the photographs. Yes, materials(film, paper, etc) help, but in the end, the materials are just a medium to a final product of the photographer's vision.
But for some reason, I'm not feeling it. I'm brand new to the world of 8x10 photography, and having shot somewhat before heading to Iceland this summer, I got my feet "wet" somewhat before going. However, I don't feel it was enough. I've worked off and on with a 4x5 camera before purchasing a KMV earlier this year for the trip, but using an 8x10 camera really opened my eyes to MAKING a photograph. 4x5 is great, but when I got the 8x10 and set it up for the 1st time, it just felt "different". In good ways and bad, honestly. Still feels different when I set it up, even with the 4x5 reducing back on it.
So far, I've developed about 25sheets of 85~ 8x10 negs(b/w) shot during the trip(6.5 weeks long), but none of them have really delivered "the goods" of what my vision(well, what I saw in my mind) was seeing. I was using a new camera, new technique, new lens, new film stock(never used Efke 100 before this trip), new developing method(trays with DBI like M+P), new developer(HC-110 right now, going to try Pyro-HD, going to order it this week), and hopefully get some Lodima/Amidol-chems in the works too . New everything I guess, maybe thats the problem.
But somehow, I feel like I'm caught in a death-spiral, and I don't like it. Seeing a few "good" negatives so far has bolstered my self-confidence, but making some prints on Ilford MGIV in dektol, I'm not too flattered by what I'm seeing. Perhaps not having had access to a darkroom for close to a year has affected my technique somewhat .
I'm trying to photograph things that interest me, whether graphically, emotionally, or by other means, but for some reason, I'm just not getting it. I'm not going to give up, but I feel a lack of direction in my work.
sorry for the random rant, but after spending 5hrs in the darkroom today, attempting to get a 1/2 DECENT print(contact print at that) out of some of these negatives, I left with NOTHING. 40 8x10 sheets now are in the trash...
anyone have any ideas on ways to get myself out of this? And any advice to a young photographer, who doesn't want to leave the medium, I just love it too much! But if I'm not producing anything that's worthwhile(even to me), what's the point of doing it?
thanks, and blessings!
-Daniel Stone
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